I’m a doctor specializing in sexual health. There’s no ‘normal’ amount of sex you should be having — so you can stop worrying.

In a recent conversation with Business Insider, Dr. Peter Stahl discussed common anxieties men experience surrounding their sex lives, and why those anxieties can be laid to rest. Stahl is the senior vice president of men’s sexual health and urology at Hims & Hers.

Stahl starts the conversation by noting that throughout his training to become a urologist, he has consistently run into the topic of how much sex is “normal” for a man. There is a certain pressure for men to have a sex life that is regular, and this comes with a stereotype that regular men have a lot of sex and certain types of sex. This set of social expectations can lead to stress and disappointment. He says this is why it’s important to reinforce the fact that there is no proper definition of a “normal” sex life.

He notes that even after repeating this, many of his patients still don’t believe him. That’s why he’s excited about Hims & Hers’ 2022 survey on the sex habits of over 5,000 Americans. He notes the survey’s capacity as a tool to help his patients. He points specifically to statistics like 75% of respondents thinking that other people have sex more than once a week, while only 54% of respondents reported actually meeting that number. He also notes that only 22% of respondents thought more sex would make their lives better.

Stahl then shares his definition of a good sex life. He says it’s important for both members to communicate, and for them to feel happy and comfortable. Different amounts of sex work for different couples, allowing for a wide variety of possible definitions of “normal.” He says couples usually know when something changes in sexual interactions, and that’s why communication is so important. An open dialogue can lead to potentially helpful outcomes in things like sex therapy and other resources.

He ends the conversation by saying he hopes his patients worry less about the sex other people are having, and more about creating positive sex lives for themselves and their partners that make them happy and satisfied.

Read the full article here.

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